I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
