go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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