she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
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You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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