shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Couch. On fire.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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