my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
