Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Small penises have feelings too.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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