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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
