i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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