She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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