so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
