Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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