My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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