I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
