i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
