butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who did Billy Mays play for?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
