Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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