My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
