We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
