how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
