I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize