I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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