it's great music for shaving your balls
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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