i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
