Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
