My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize