I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
