she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
