I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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