i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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