I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
