Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize