glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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