My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How drunk are you?
Completed.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
