question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I believe in your delicious
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
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