Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
