I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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