they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
