Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
