if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
