eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
