I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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