I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
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i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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