Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
