My Higher Power is John Stamos
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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