He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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