Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize