i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
