Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
