i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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