Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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