After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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