Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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