Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
