It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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