Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
