90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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