Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
