Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
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If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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