thus making me awesome and them whores
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
