I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
