Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
