just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
