The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
