If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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