Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
